I was doing everything I could think of (running an online fitness business, building a YouTube channel, competing in Bikini comps) but it never felt enough.
I kept thinking, the next win will be when I'll finally feel content.
I assumed once my to-do list was done I'd feel peace.
I wondered would life ever let me feel like I've "made it" so I could finally rest?
Tranquility is what I craved.
Being ME is what I longed for.
X Not the version I was “supposed” to be
X Not the version others expected me to be.
The real me.
The free me.
Sure, I've always been me, but not fully.
I was who I thought I "should" be. And I was really good at it.
I knew exactly how to be the good girl, the good friend, the good partner, etc.
I was a text-book people pleaser.
Speak my truth? No way.
Stand up for myself? Heck no.
Say 'no' when others expected a 'yes'? No.
I felt my worth was equal parts to what I could give.
I felt I would only be loved if I served and gave all of my time.
I was afraid I ever stepped out of this mold...I would be abandoned.
But in truth? I had abandoned myself.
Until I decided I had to forget what I thought I knew and what I thought I need and truly listen to the inner most parts of me. And on this journey, I began to explore all of the beliefs and fears that had kept me from me.
One by one, I faced them.
One by one, I healed them.
And once I saw how much I had been standing in my own way, something finally shifted.
I began to see things differently. I began to feel things differently.
I began to witness happiness and inner peace in my daily life! Not just as glimpses either.
I never thought it would be possible for me to feel consistent joy, motivation, and purpose in this lifetime.
But it was.
It is.
And it is for you as well.